What I did with last week's hoppers from lab

My best friend upset me last Wednesday (we're not going to talk about why). She apologized sincerely, and I accepted, but I have anger management issues, and even when people apologize to me and time passes, I still manage to stay upset.

Wednesday, I discovered a solution. It's called revenge. Quick, painless revenge. With the help of bugs. :)

I left my best friend a present right outside of her dorm. It was the pair of large locusts I was playing with in lab that I was supposed to throw out after observing them. I accompanied my gift with a deliberately ambiguous text message, "There's a surprise for you." She texted me back, saying that it scared the bejeezus out of her, and that she didn't know whether or not it was real (though she had suspected that I was the culprit). She contemplated licking it to test if I'm giggling really hard now, and I'm no longer annoyed. She didn't want to accept the exotic grasshoppers as a gift, though. In any case, she learned her lesson.

Well, needless to say, I forgot about the other people living in her hallway who might also be scared. Later, someone else in her hallway posted a picture of it on Facebook (above), saying that she was "screaming bloody murder" over the "cockroaches" in her hallway. It was followed by a stream of comments by others: "this is gross," "omg that scared me when I walked by it in the hallway," and the like. I'm entertained, and decide to take some more action and change up the positioning a bit.

So, still all giggles. Then, I realize that the photo that someone else posted from Facebook is circulating on a Yale panlist that I am not even on (Is anyone in YSO? You would have received the e-mail). People are suggesting that my friend eat it, others are terrified, and yet still others are trying to determine the culprit.

And now, this is sensational. In just a few hours, I managed to scare a few dozen people with some dead bugs I was supposed to throw out in lab, but decided to keep for some “personal purposes.” I could rule the world. (And so could you, fellow lab mates).