Are you excited yet?

T-minus 36 hours!!!!!! (give or take a few. And also depending on when you read this.)

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately...), we're probably going to get to Florida about a month too late to see the "double-headed bugs," or lovebugs (Plecia nearctica), which form huge mating swarms twice a year in late spring and late summer. They can be stuck together for as long as several days during and after mating, even when they're flying around. Their swarms can get so big that they're considered a huge pest, especially when people drive through the swarms. Lovebug body chemistry is not conducive to being cleaned off of car paint (the trick, I have read, is to use wet dryer sheets).

Lovebugs weren't always found in Florida. Actually, because they appeared in the U.S. so suddenly, some brilliant person decided to spread the rumor that the pesty lovebugs were actually the escapees of a genetic experiment gone wrong, accidentally released by naive University of Florida students. However, their sudden introduction to the U.S. can be explained instead by a steady migration around the Gulf of Mexico. Lovebugs were present in Mississippi and Louisiana in 1940, and then expanded their range by about 20 miles per year, until they reached southern Florida in 1975, according to a study by Lawrent Buschman.

The one with the tiny head is the male. Sorry guys. We always knew you had smaller brains.

Unfortunately, these would probably be hard to pin.

One thing you don't have to worry about in Florida: being stung by the bullet ant (Paraponera clavata). The farthest north you'll find the bullet ant is Nicaragua or Honduras, so we've managed to dodge that bullet (so punny).  Apparently the sting of the bullet ant is actually about equal to being shot. This ant is also known as "hormiga veinticuatro" because its sting is followed by 24 hours of pain. It has a 4+ rating on the Schmidt Sting Pain Index (a scale of 1 to 4...yes this is a real scale). Apparently some crazy entomologist from Arizona decided to rate all of the stings of the Hymenoptera by testing them on himself. He didn't just put a numerical rating on the stings, though; he also described them with explicit, almost whimsical phrases. The sting of the sweat bee (family Halictidae) is "light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm." How enjoyable! Not surprising that it clocks in with a measly rating of 1. The yellow jacket (genuses Vespula and Dolichovespula) packs a heftier blow, with a rated-2 sting that is "hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine WC Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue." Ouch. But none come close to our enemy the bullet ant, which causes "pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel." I'm not sure what gives this guy the authority to talk about fire-walking with 3-inch (not 2-inch, mind you. This is REAL pain) rusty nails in his heels, but I'm going to trust him. If you want to read more of Schmidt's descriptions, here's a cool article.

Look at the size of that stinger...

On an entirely unrelated note: you know how they always say you know you're fluent in a language when you start dreaming in it? I've never had a dream in another language (we'll ignore the random Spanglish that sometimes crops up), but I have had really cool dreams about bugs. Last night, I caught a really awesome mantis with red wings (why did it have to be a dream?). My kill jar wasn't charged, though, so I had to tell to my brother to pour ethyl acetate into the jar while I was holding the mantis. He poured way too much into the jar, but I couldn't do anything about it because my hands were full of mantis, so I just ended up drowning the thing in ethyl acetate. Rather unfortunate.

I also think I ate some mealy bugs in my dream...yum?

Basically, my point is: SO EXCITED FOR FLORIDA. LET'S CATCH SOME AWESOME STUFF.